Safety Planning
Building a Safety Plan
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A safety plan is a detailed strategy that helps you avoid harm by a partner.
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First thing’s first: define your support system. You’re going to need to collaborate with them to create your final plan. Next, identify your local resources - shelters, local courts, etc. Lastly, pull together everything you’ll need to take with you in case of an emergency.
4-Step Safety Plan Outline
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We understand vulnerability is hard but, it is absolutely vital that you be honest. If you don’t feel ready or comfortable choosing someone from your personal life, give us a call at a our toll free, 24 hour hotline and talk to one of our advocates.
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A code word or phrase is something unsuspecting you can use in a call, text, or interpersonal conversation to let someone know you are in danger without tipping off your partner. A code word could be a signal to call the authorities, let someone know to come get you, or let someone know you are planning to leave. You always need to make sure your code word or phrase is shared with your trusted person but, if possible it’s best to share your code word or phrase with friends, neighbors, and family as well. Ex: “Do you have my charger?”, “
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We recommend having the originals or copies of the following items and documents, for emergency purposes:
Identification (e.g., driver's license, school ID, military ID, immigration documents)
Cell phone
Cell phone charger
Cash
ATM card
House key
Car key
Change of clothes
Comfort items (e.g., favorite stuffed animal or photograph)
Copy of protection/restraining order, birth certificate, medical records, bank information, insurance information, marriage/divorce certificate
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The safest plans are the ones that help you prepare for the worst case scenario. Always make sure you have a safe, undisclosed location in mind that you can go to should you need to leave abruptly. To find the names and numbers of the nearest shelters to you click here. If you are not in California, click here to find the names and numbers of the nearest shelters to you.
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Make sure your kids understand who to contact and how in the event of an emergency.
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Designate a code word for your children to let them know it’s time to exit the home or call for help. Make sure your children understand not to share the code with anyone who is not a designated trusted figure.
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Going back to step two, we recommend using code words to let your children know that it’s time to exit the home if possible. Make sure in the event of an emergency, they are aware of designated safe zones they can go to outside the home.
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Firstly, let them know that they shouldn’t try to intervene in situations that have escalated to violence, even though they may want to. Instead, identify a safe room in the house that they can go to when they start to feel afraid. Instruct them to stay away from rooms containing items that could be used to harm them; like kitchens and bathrooms.
Lastly, be prepared for if your children tell your partner your code words or safety plan. And while it might be difficult, don’t fault them for their responses to abuse.
Child Inclusive Safety Planning
Safety planning with children will look a little different depending on how old your children are. It’s important for all age groups to be reminded that what is happening is not their fault and that violence is never acceptable, no matter who it comes from.